Interview No.1 | Thesis Garden

Person: A young anonymous immigrant

"How do you stay connected while you are at a distance?"

Mostly text messages with my close friends, but I also kinda keep in touch with other friends by sharing funny things and reels. Video calls are the main tool for talking with my family, which is not the case with all the people I know because it's too difficult for both of us to find a similar time in our schedules.

When one of my friends was dealing with a difficult situation and she kept sending me text, voice, and video messages about how things were going. Though it was not an online call, I felt like it was the old days when I was there for her.

Another one is when I am playing small online mobile games with my little brother. My relationship with him is special and a bit different from others. He doesn't have the will to talk in ordinary ways like others; even when I ask him something, he doesn't seem eager to continue the conversation. But when it comes to playing, he starts to give me more information about his life and everything else he wants to share.

"What about a moment when it wasn't easy for you to stay connected?"

Probably my closest friend in our country, who immigrated to a really faraway country. Over time, because of different time zones, life challenges, and stuff like that, we lost our connection.

Generally, I value emotional presence. It is not only being physically close that matters, but the need to be there deeply, which doesn't always happen, even when you are in the same place.

"What do you do together other than sending messages?"

If we set my little brother aside, probably nothing.

"Can you talk about how the ways of communicating have changed over time?"

I think distance didn't cause me to change my way of communicating with my friend; it is more convenient for me to stay connected with the ones with whom I already communicated online, even when we lived close to each other and met each other from time to time, which is not the case for people whom I repeatedly saw when I had the opportunity. Maybe I can just mention again sending reels to each other or seeing their stories as new ways of staying in touch.

I believe commitment is the essential key to maintaining a relationship, which requires the same level of commitment from both ends of the connection. When I look at my lost relationships, sometimes it was me and sometimes it was them who didn't show the commitment to keep in touch and ask about me, or simply show that they remembered me in any way.

"And what do you think can make this commitment easier?"

Maybe a shared activity that doesn't require extra energy and turns into a routine for both, which you do because of the activity itself and, at the same time, because of the person you enjoy doing it with.